Whew! What a weekend! I apologize for my absence in the blogging world. After a three-day event and then catching up at home afterwards, it’s been hectic around here!
I find myself apologizing to my kids constantly. I’m sorry mommy’s so busy. I’m sorry, but I have to get the dishes done. I’m sorry, I’m making dinner as fast as I can.
In the usual day-to-day I’m telling them to be patient, I’m doing the best I can. But now that I’ve been absent all weekend I think the guilt is setting in. Fortunately they mostly behaved all weekend. That’s always my biggest fear when I’m working a lot. I’m worried that whoever is helping me out by watching the kids is getting saddled with constant tantrums, hitting, biting and general violence. I don’t know why I think that will happen… it’s not their norm. I think I just fear the worst. Then if I ever need help watching the kids again, no one would be willing to do it.
I do know one thing. Since they got a lot more daddy time, they’ve really grown closer with him. It’s not just mommy who can help them anymore. Daddy is a prime candidate, too.
But then there’s a problem with that… Now daddy doesn’t want to go back to work and the kids don’t want him to leave in the morning. It’s suddenly much gloomier when daddy leaves.
And I’m getting compared to ‘how daddy does it’.
Yes, yes. I know. Daddy is really good at building legos. Yes, daddy is good at playing race cars and making the noises. Nope, mommy’s not so good at making dinosaur sounds… I’ll work on that.
I guess I’ve been doing this often enough now that my kids are used to it. Mommy runs around the house like crazy packing up everything and loading it into the car. Mommy’s gone for a few hours one day and the car is now empty. Mommy’s gone for a weekend and then has a full car again. Mommy is tired.
Doing events is tiring but fun. Rewarding but a hassle.
When we checked in and found out that the booth is on the complete opposite side of the building from where we can park, we looked for an alternative entrance to load in from. They told us we could pull our car into the building and unload right next to our booth. Sweet! So we did.
Other people immediately hated us for it. Apparently they thought we were taking liberties and driving indoors without permission. We assured everyone who asked that we were told to do this. They still complained and grumbled that our car would be in the way.
We unloaded at lightning speed and suffered the dirty looks.
Then I set out my artwork. The people who complained were now stopping to admire my work and complimenting me.
‘Thank you, I’ll just sit in my corner now and you won’t even know I’m here. Yes, I take Visa.’
I have a problem dealing with constant whining. This is why when my kids are sick, I have a very short fuse. I know they don’t feel good, I know they need extra help. I’m there for them. But damn…
They whine a LOT.
Here’s what I’m thinking… When I get upset and just can’t handle it, I’m going to go to my room.
Why not? Why send them to their room when they’re getting on my nerves but didn’t actually do anything bad? I’m the one who needs to calm down. So, I take care of whatever problem there is (blowing a nose, getting a drink of water, returning a stolen toy…) and then leave them to their tantrums and whining for a few minutes while I cool off.
Maybe it’s the conditioning of my own childhood. It feels natural to just hole up in a room and fume for a few minutes. And hey, bonus, I don’t have get the talking to afterwards.
It appears that we have a minor illness circulating through the house. My almost-2-year-old got it and now mommy and daddy are fighting through it.
It would be so nice if you could take a sick day when it comes to parenting. As it stands, though, we’re in it through thick and thin. We’re more dedicated than the postman.
Fortunately for us modern-age parents, we have an easy out to give us a little bit more rest when needed.
It is truly a godsend to have technology available to bail you out when you just can’t muster the energy to keep up with the energizer bunnies running rampant through your house.
I feel lazy, but I’m doing it in a thought-out, strategic manner. I just hope I can handle how much Leapfrog will be stuck in my head come bedtime.
We’re starting to compose our letters to Santa and it’s become clear how ambitious my almost-four-year-old is.
It started with a drawbridge for his train track. This is a toy that a friend has, and he has reminded me many times that he gets to play with it, but only when he goes to visit that friend.
The list also includes a roundhouse for his train track as well. The emphasis is on his need to build a city and have a place for his trains to live and be safe.
The request has now expanded to the need for a ship. I mean, really… If you have a drawbridge, of course you need a ship to go under it.
He’s building the city of the future and no logical infrastructure shall be excluded.
Just as I’m getting a handle on my desires for the future of my artistic endeavors, things are moving in the opposite direction!
I have decided that I want to keep my artwork as a side project, but not where I put most of my energy. I want to spend more time writing. I’m chomping at the bit to get back into more writing! And yet….
I have more orders for artwork coming in! I’m not really upset about this… it’s nice that I’m making headway in an area I’ve worked so hard to be successful in, but… but… grr!
I think I just have to get into the mindset that I’ll be continuing with artwork more full time through the holidays and then I can transition. I will!!
It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes one of my kids does something, says something, wears something or gets a certain look on their face that gives you this little glimpse of their future.
Sometimes it’s inspiring. So much intelligence in their eyes that shows you their serious side.
Sometimes it’s worrisome. The things they find so funny that are truly horrible.
Sometimes it’s breathtaking. A tiny look at what their grown-up self will look like.
I wish I could capture that fleeting moment and stare at it. I’d love to be able to compare it to their actual grown-up self and see if I was right.
Sweet! You really did turn out to be good at cooking, you look exactly like your dad when you frown and you are just as OCD as mommy. Nailed it.